Friday, March 5, 2010

Final Two Weeks!

Well, here it is. The final two weeks before Hilary Term ends. Can you believe it? I honestly cannot. My life has been so interesting lately. I've procrastinated a lot by watching movies, I bought a pair of "jeggings" (jean leggings), and I have given up cussing for Lent. This Sunday I am turning 21. That is also hard to believe. I feel like I should be 15 still. Awkward, unnoticed, meek, horrifyingly self-conscious and thinking that people aged 21 were sooooo old. But here I am. Turning 21 and not feeling quite as old as I thought I would. The one thing that does freak me out is that it wouldn't be odd if I dated a 23 year old. Can life please just stop? I feel like time is slipping away like sand through my fingers and the harder I try to hold on to it the more I lose. I almost wish I was back to a time when life was so much easier. Although, there was never a time when life was "easy." Every moment of my life had its trials and difficulties. They are just shifting now and becoming more scary. I don't want to think about how I am going to be a senior in college next year. I don't want to think about how I'm going to have to take the GRE this summer. I don't want to have to worry about going to grad school and getting an apartment. I just wish these days could last forever, but unfortunately they are bittersweet with the knowledge of tomorrow. My time at Oxford is already halfway over and the end is drawing steadily nearer. How can this be? It seems like I just got here. It feels like I had only yesterday stepped off that plane from Chicago and made my way to the Warner's house with Kyle, bags in tow. Time is a funny thing and I wish I had more of it.

I'm leaving a week from Sunday for Prague and my spring break adventures. It seems unreal that in just two weeks I will be in Salzburg, Austria with Melody. I just wish I could fly there right now and live out those adventures, for I am beginning to find Oxford tedious at times. The monotonous writing of essays, going to the Purple Turtle, attending lecture... I told my mom about this feeling and she replied that this is how it always feels like at the end of a term. Only the sunshine is making my days a little more cheerful. I am ready for some weather that I can wear just a jacket in, instead of lugging along my huge coats, but still shivering as I walk on the pavement into town. I feel in my heart an restlessness that only comes from a life of monotony. Thank goodness that I will be travelling soon and having new adventures!