Thursday, February 4, 2010

My Ramblings

So, I've been pondering recently after seeing people get engaged, married, and have children who are my age. This especially comes after hearing the exciting news that my best friend from home, Kala, is engaged! He really is a great guy and suits her perfectly. I am honored because I am one of her bridesmaids! It really is a joyous occasion.

But yes, my ponderings. I guess all these thoughts come about because I see people my age who are experiencing this and I realize that I am not even at the point in my life where there is a guy I am dating, let alone seriously, or even nearly engaged to. I guess I am sort of jealous of those people. Those who have found that love and security within their lives from finding that one person they want to share their life with. Being single is accepting a lack of security. I mean, you are secure with yourself but it does get rather lonely after a while. I suppose I am just tired of dating. I mean, dating is fun and all, but it's when it gets serious and I'm not so into it that it becomes problematic. I hate dramatic relationships. I guess I'm also afraid of commitment now. I just don't want to get hurt. Although, I know that eventually I will have to take that risk, but I haven't needed to yet.

However, I am also thankful that I do not have someone I'm that serious with at this point. I'm being selfish but that would drastically restrict my travel itineraries, my future plans, and my social life. I know I'm not ready to settle down. I've accepted that. Hopefully by 27 I will be married, which means I've got at the most 5 years to find that man. But 5 years is a long time and I really hate waiting. This is why I just wish I could glimpse into the future to see myself with my husband and find solace. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. I just hope that I will find someone who suits me incredibly well like Kala has. If not, I've determined that I will be a cat lady forever. Or go on the Bachelorette at age 30.

Anyways! Those are my lovely ramblings. Please make sure you check out the post below bc I just wrote it also!

No comments:

Post a Comment